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I hate exercise. My husband insists that if I just do it long enough or hard enough I will find some euphoric place where exercise is more exciting than winning lottery tickets, hot fudge sundaes or sex. Not matter how often I force myself to do it, I just don’t get high off sweat and pain. I decided that in order to force myself to exercise more I needed some guilt. I am now the proud owner of one gym membership that I am
wasting PAYING $30 a month for. If I don’t go a few times a week I feel guilty so off I trudge with my headphones and gym bag to torture myself for an hour.
Zumba: Exercise Craze or Girls Night Out?
One of the perks of my gym membership is access to a number of workout classes. Lovely! Organized group exercise where we can all sweat, moan and groan together in an effort to get thin.
I decided to try out a zumba class on my last trip to the gym. Mainly because zumba is less like exercise and more like dancing to hip hop music in really tight clothes. A reminder of those days when I was in college hitting all the dance clubs with my friends, right? Um, yeah….not so much.
I was never all that good a dancer until I hit the middle of the pitcher of margaritas. Oh, sure, I could sway and tap my foot and maybe do a bob and weave but the hips and boobs really didn’t come into play until I was on my second drink.
There is no drinking in my zumba class. I think this is a serious oversight on the part of the gym owners. One margarita before zumba class would really make things quite a bit looser. Who cares that we are all middle aged, slightly overweight women in sweaty workout gear? We got RHYTHM! Lets dance, girls!
And I do mean GIRLS. Because the other thing my zumba class does not have is anyone of the male gender. Okay, I distinctly remember there being guys when I went clubbing. None of them actually looked at me twice but I know they were there because they went home with most of my friends.
So, zumba…sweaty dancing in skin tight clothes without alcohol or guys. Just the sweat and the pain and the feeling awkward because you can’t move like that really cool chick in the center of the dance floor. Getting old sucks.
Now I remember why I hated clubbing in college.
I wear many hats in this thing called life. I am a science geek, an introvert, a busy mother of teens and slightly neurotic about dirty dishes. I used to have a really important sounding job in cancer research when I decided to give it all up to be a stay at home mom. I played with Playdough, colored pictures of Barbies and freaked out when the baby ate dog food. Then the second kid came along and I started to think dog food might have nutritional value. What is Fractionated Living? It is me…divided by work, life, kids, marriage, and hobbies and trying to come up with the answer to life.